


(ON HOLD) the kitchen is on fire

by dnvrs



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gay, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-01-25 16:49:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18578566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dnvrs/pseuds/dnvrs
Summary: gay is the only tag because this is pretty fuckin gay--the avengers and all them are in college or somethin and-everything just goes really wrong





	1. Chapter 1

onearmedbitch: aH  
starrbucks: WHAT WHAT WHAT  
thunderthot: im scared  
stank: im not  
onearmedbitch: tHe pOwEr oF cHriSt cOmpEls yOu


	2. gay town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's gay town y'all

**gay town**  
-  
lesbian: why are we here  
gaylesbian: i dont know  
onearmedbitch: it's gay town  
onearmedbitch: you shouldn't worry  
thebestprincess: mhmm  
witchy: i know this will be some dramatic stuff  
onearmedbitch: you can use lAngUage  
thebestprincess: FUCK YEAH  
bossassbitch: ...  
bossassbitch: wanda  
witchy: yes  
onearmedbitch: DO NOT YOU DARE NAT  
wasp: jesus  
thebestprincess: :)  
thunderthot: YAY  
thunderthot: LETS GO LESBIANS  
lesbian: FUCK  
gaylesbian: YEAH

-  
**lesbianism**  
-  
witchy kicked gaylesbian from the chat  
witchy: val  
witchy: val  
lesbian: what  
lesbian: and why did you kick carol  
thunderthot: SHE KNOWS  
witchy: AHHHH  
witchy, thunderthot, bossassbitch have left the conversation  
lesbian: what  
lesbian: wh  
-  
**thunderironstarrbucks**  
-  
onearmedbitch: sooo  
thunderthot: ?  
onearmedbitch: do you guys wanna come over for a movie tonight?  
stank: sure  
starrbucks: yeerrrrr  
thunderthot: i will be there!  
onearmedbitch: thumbs-up emojix3  
thunderthot: can i bring loki?  
stank: no  
starrbucks: no  
onearmedbitch: no  
-  
**spaaace**  
-  
lesbian: caroool  
gaylesbian: vaaaaal  
gaylesbian: whatcha need?  
lesbian: i need you and goose  
gaylesbian: i'll be right over  
lesbian: yay  
lesbian deleted previous message  
gaylesbian: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is very weird-
> 
> why?
> 
> it just is??


	3. i think the fuck not papi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i don't know what i'm doing anymore
> 
> also five men appear in here :)  
> also one boy :)

**gay town  
-  
**onearmedbitch added killme and language  
onearmedbitch: everyone, brock and steve are here  
witchy: i've never associated with brock  
killme: i will kill for pizza rolls if that makes you want to associate  
witchy: it does  
lowkey: it really does  
thunderthot: oh  
language: im proud to say im dating brock  
bossassbitch: oh  
bossassbitch: brock  
bossassbitch: remember that time you found pizza rolls scattered in the vents?  
killme: yes  
killme: it was katniss  
katniss: excuse me my name is clit thank you very much  
lesbian: i hope you realize your mistake  
katniss: shit  
-  
 **operation: gay  
-  
**onearmedbitch: bet we can make val admit carol's cute  
witchy: im in  
lesbian: you won't  
lowkey: we'll see about that  
-  
 **excuse me what the fuck  
-  
**thebestprincess: buck  
onearmedbitch: yesssss  
thebestprincess: do you wanna see carol's new cat?  
onearmedbitch: you bought her a cat??  
thebestprincess: yes??  
thebestprincess: i did  
onearmedbitch: tAKE ME  
-  
 **i think the fuck not papi  
-  
**gaylesbian: wHO WANTS TO SEE MY CAT  
lesbian: she's cute ngl  
onearmedbitch: carol or the cat  
gaylesbian: fuck you  
lesbian: they're both cute  
onearmedbitch: but who's cuter  
gaylesbian: stop  
lesbian: carol's obviously cuter, is that even a question?  
gaylesbian: oh  
gaylesbian: you're cute too :)  
onearmedbitch: YESSSS  
lesbian: FUCK  
gaylesbian: what's happening?  
lesbian: they made a fucking deal that i wouldn't admit you're cute  
lesbian: but you are  
lesbian: :)  
witchy: BOON  
witchy: BOO,  
witchy: BOOB  
witchy: BOOM  
peterpenis: I JUST WITNESSED THAT AND IM HAPPY  
thebestprincess: you're welcome for the cat  
gaylesbian: oh yeah  
gaylesbian: thank yoooou  
gaylesbian: her name is goose btw  
lowkey: im coming the fuck over  
gaylesbian: come to me  
lesbian: me, bucky, and shuri are already here  
lowkey: im running  
gaylesbian: :)  
killme: can i come?  
onearmedbitch: yes  
onearmedbitch: carol allows everyone  
gaylesbian: i do  
killme: woo hoo  
gaylesbian: also val i dmed you  
lesbian: okay emojix1  
-  
 **untitled chat  
-  
**gaylesbian added lesbian to the chat  
gaylesbian: my place, 8:30 pm  
gaylesbian: it's gonna be a horror movie btw  
\---


	4. horror films

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> h  
> o  
> r  
> r  
> o  
> r  
> f  
> i  
> l  
> m  
> s
> 
> and a short chapter

**thunderironstarrbucks  
-  
**onearmedbitch: what movie are we watching? it has to be horror btw  
starrbucks: why are you asking me??  
thunderthot: yes, why are you asking her?  
stank: im not deciding  
onearmedbitch: how dare  
thunderthot: perhaps we should ask in gay town?  
starrbucks: oh god  
onearmedbitch: no  
onearmedbitch: something happened  
stank: what?  
onearmedbitch: something hilarious  
thunderthot: not exactly 'hilarious', but it was quite funny  
stank: wh  
starrbucks: ooooooh  
starrbucks: i remember when you told me  
onearmedbitch: yes  
onearmedbitch: in o:g  
starrbucks: o:g?  
onearmedbitch: IVE SAID TOO MUCH  
\--  
 **untitled chat  
-  
**gaylesbian: what movie do you want to watch after the horror one that i can't be bothered to remember the name of?  
lesbian: something romantic?  
gaylesbian: romantic comedy?  
lesbian: isn't it romantic?  
gaylesbian: oooh  
lesbian: i honestly don't know if we'll be watching the movie at all  
gaylesbian: we won't ;)  
gaylesbian: bring pizza rolls btw  
lesbian: was planning on it  
gay lesbian changed the chat name to **let's go lesbians  
** lesbian: beautiful  
gaylesbian: i know i am  
gaylesbian went offline  
lesbian: my heartttt


	5. stop, just stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ???????
> 
> just some thor and loki convo

**gay town  
-  
**lowkey: how did it go?  
thunderthot: that depends  
thunderhot: who are we talking about?  
lowkey: i'll dm you  
-  
 **lowkey brothers  
-  
**lowkey: so  
lowkey: spill  
thunderthot: what first  
thunderthot: ironthunderstarrbucks?  
lowkey: if you tell me that i'll tell you what val told me  
thunderthot: mkay  
thunderthot: so  
lowkey: huRRY UP  
thunderthot: i aM  
thunderthot: ANYWAYS  
thunderthot: so  
thunderthot: first, tony started braiding my hair  
thunderthot: then i started braiding ava's  
thunderthot: then ava started braiding bucky's  
lowkey: i'm just gonna straight up ask  
lowkey: did y'all fuck  
thunderthot: well  
thunderthot: maybe  
thunderthot: first of all  
lowkey: sTOP  
lowkey: juST STOP  
thunderthot: that's for the best  
lowkey: yes it is  
thunderthot: now spill about the lesbians  
lowkey: which ones  
thunderthot: lesbian and gay lesbian  
lowkey: okay  
lowkey: okay okay okay  
thunderthot: cOME ON  
lowkey: i AM  
lowkey: val told me that as soon as they had hugged or whatever  
thunderthot: saying hello probably  
lowkey: yeah  
lowkey: now shut up  
lowkey: anyway  
lowkey: they didn't end up watching a movie at all  
lowkey: they just fucked  
thunderthot: i wouldn't expect anything else  
lowkey: anyways, wanna grab a coffee later  
thunderthot: i'll be over in a few  
-


	6. excuse me what the fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so  
> y'all didn't even ask for this  
> but i added someone else in  
> *woooooooo*  
> this is also really short but okay

**untitled chat  
-  
**unknown: did you think i wouldn't find you  
gaylesbian: i don't know who you are??  
unknown: dont play stupid, carol  
gaylesbian: wait  
gaylesbian: does your name start with m and end in ia?  
unknown: fuck  
unknown: i tried to be terrifying  
gaylesbian: haha  
gaylesbian: well  
gaylesbian: my girlfriend looked like she was about to track you down  
unknown: no way  
unknown: you actually got a girlfriend??  
gaylesbian: of course i did!  
unknown: im calling you  
-  
 **Call Transcript  
Maria Rambeau to Carol Danvers  
**-  
"Carol, put her on."  
"She's trying to sleep."  
"She won't be able to resist you!"  
"Right. I'll be right back. And I'm muting us."  
 _Carol Danvers has been muted  
"Brunn, wake up."  
"Hmm?"  
"Baby, Maria's calling."  
"That chick that sounds awesome?"  
"Yeah."  
Carol Danvers has been un-muted  
_"Back. I'll put Brunn on."  
 _-Rustling-  
_ "Hey. It's Val."  
"It's Maria over here-a."  
"So, whatcha wanna talk about?"  
 _-In the background, "Ask her for coffee!"-  
_ "Uhm-"  
"Would you like to meet up for coffee?"  
"Sure."  
"Uh-"  
"I'll hang up now."  
"Bye."  
"Bye!"  
 **Call Ended**


	7. fuck fuck fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh-  
> i don't know where this is going??
> 
> dRaMa
> 
> next chapter will have what happened at the party + possible new character

**gay town**  
-  
killme: we need help  
thunderthunderthot: what's happening?  
killme: just  
killme: the party  
killme: something has happened, and someone could die  
thunderthot: what has happened? i need to know  
killme: someone was shot  
killme: just call someone, please  
stank: woah  
stank: who was shot  
killme: update  
killme: multiple people have been shot  
killme: three i think  
killme: i can see bucky on the ground  
killme: i think bucky was shot  
thunderthot: im on my way  
starrbucks: the fuck  
starrbucks: FUCK  
starrbucks: fuck fuck fuck fuck  
killme: ava  
killme: ava, go to steve  
killme: he can see this most likely, but i told him that he might need to drive someone to the hospital  
starrbucks: brock, thank you  
killme: it's okay  
killme: i'm trying to see who else was shot  
killme: thor  
lowkey: thor is driving, i'll tell him probably  
killme: did he call the police and such?  
katniss: i can confirm natasha and wanda are okay  
scotty: hope is all good  
wasp: yep  
killme: carol and val?  
language: i have ava  
language: val stayed at home  
language: carol went to the party i believe  
killme: shit  
language: you don't think  
killme: steve, you and ava go get val  
language: we're on our way  
lesbian: what  
lesbian: someone better explain  
killme: val  
killme: i'll call you  
-  
**Call Stranscript**  
_Brock Rumlow to Valkyrie_  
"Valkyrie."  
"Brock. And please just call me Val."  
"Okay, Val. I'm afraid something happened at the party and Carol was involved."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Carol was shot. I wasn't sure that it was her at first but I can see now."  
"Oh.."  
"Steve and Ava are coming to pick you up. Bucky was also shot. I'm still trying to see the third."  
"O-Okay.."  
**Call Ended**


End file.
